SyFriday: Taking Celebrity A Little Too Far

I couldn't have been more than 4 years old, sitting at the kitchen table watching my mom prepare food for my little sister and I. I couldn't even begin to tell you what she was making for me, but my sister was still on the Gerber baby food, you know, the stuff with that cute little baby on the label.

I pointed to the picture with the sudden realization: That baby was me! I mean, it had to be. I was just out of my toddler stage, and of course, the entire world revolved around me (it still does, doesn't it?), and I was excited because it was me on the label, not my pesky little sister who was getting far more attention than me.

I proudly identified the baby to my mom, as if she had never noticed before. She just chuckled, and said, "No, Mikey, that's not you. That's Humphrey Bogart."

Of course, we were both wrong. The baby was not me, and it wasn't even Humphrey Bogart. In fact, I had a chance to meet and interview the real Gerber baby later in my life, a very nice woman by the name of Ann Turner Cook who spent many years as a teacher in the Tampa Bay area.

The funny thing about babies is that they pretty much look all the same. Sure, there might be some differences, but really, as an infant, we're about as identifiable as the Changelings in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," and outside of making cute, funny noises at them, they aren't all that interesting.

That's why I have such a problem with the $14 million paid to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to get the first pictures of their twins -- pictures that look like any other baby picture.

Seriously, what did these babies do other than get lucky enough to be the offspring of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? And why should they make far more money than Ann Turner Cook ever made as the Gerber baby (probably about $14 million more)?

I guess that's why SyFy Portal, now in its 11th year, isn't too concerned about the personal lives of celebrities. In fact, if it's not work-related, we really do our hardest to avoid it. Yes, I know, we just printed stories about the car wreck that Morgan Freeman was in, and charges being dropped against Christian Bale after an alleged domestic dispute in London, but those are items I had to sit back and think about whether or not it was appropriate for SyFy Portal to cover.

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